The Pharaoh's Curse
by Wingleader Sora Jade
Summary: AE AU. Bakura was stupid enough to trip into a cursed pool, and now he's stuck in a woman's body for six months. Of course, that may not be so bad if it gets him the Puzzle and Rod... (Chapter 3 up) Djel, overseer of the harem...
1. Curses!

Pharoah's Curse 

AKA Bakura 1/2 

by WSJ 

Yami Bakura: *twitching randomly* Insane, evil, sugar-high authoress... Oh Ra, we're in for it... 

WSJ: *running around and pointing at everybody's feet* Senu! Senu, senu! *funny gay voice* 

Bakura: *blink blink* What? I don't get it.... 

Yami Bakura: *sweatdrop* 'Senu' is ancient Egyptian for 'shoe'... Radangit, I knew we shouldn't have let her have that second bowl of iced creame on top of the coffee... 

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my senu!!! MWAHAHAHA! *runs around hyperly* 

Bakura: *sweatdrop* This fic takes place in ancient Egypt, although it isn't very.... Egyptly. Yu-Gi-Oh/Ranma fusion, and for some reason the Jusenkyo springs have moved by several thousand miles. 

()()()()() 

Yami Bakura (hereafter known as simply Bakura because of the slight fact that his lighter side won't come to be for another 3,000 years) decided later that his first mistake had been turning around to taunt the guards chasing him. Seto disagreed and said that his first mistake had been robbing that particular tomb that day. The guy wasn't even dead yet! Jono said his first mistake was becoming a tomb robber in the first place. 

Pharoah Yami told them all to shut up, and that his first mistake had been being born at all. 

But nevertheless, when Bakura was running high-speed across the desert with a bag of loot over each shoulder and another tucked into his belt, he turned around to stick his tongue out at the guards chasing him. 

And, as Fate (who is actually, once you've gotten to know her, very mischeivious) would have it, tripped over a rock that Bakura would have sworn wasn't there before. He fell head-long into an oasis (which he also would have sworn hadn't been there a moment before), and came up sputtering curses. To his surprise, the guards screeched to a hault, then turned tail and ran, every single one of them screaming something about shape-changing demons. 

"Come back here you cowards!" Bakura yelled, shaking a fist after them. Then he gasped, one hand clamping over his mouth. 

It was a rather feminine gasp, and a rather slender hand. 

Now, being a street rat, Bakura really had no use for shirts. They were itchy and uncomfortable, and they made one's tan become uneven. Usually Bakura went by with a pair of tattered pants torn off at the knee. 

The pants that were, in fact, now down to his ankles and almost falling off of him. 

In a state of rather abject horror, Bakura looked down at himself, and screamed. (It was a rather high-pitched scream) 

But Bakura the Tomb Robber wasn't one to be daunted by apparent gender-change and high-levels of suspicious magical energy. He knew what happened to most girls in the village who attempted to go around with little or no shirt on. Usually it said something like 'hi, rape me and kill me please'. 

So he pulled a bag of loot closer to him, dumped it out (gasp!) and then ripped, tore, and tied the bag into some semblence of a covering. 

"Ra curse it," he, she, muttered to herself. "Why did I frickin' get such a big bust...." 

Bakura knew (sortof) what had happened to him. Just because he was a tomb robber didn't mean he was illiterite. He could read hiroglyphs just as well as most of the preists. On most of the tombs was some script or another detailing the Pharoah's Curse, which would decend on any who dared defile the dead and turn them into something unspeakably evil. 

Bakura found it both rather amusing and bemusing that that something "unspeakably evil" had been a woman. 

"Well now what do I do?" she asked. Bakura-chan turned around and looked at herself in the surface of the water (Japanese honorific suffixes wouldn't come into be for another couple hundred years either, but hey, Bakura had to have some way to tell his now female self from his regular male one). She was a lot shorter then she was used to, and her hair was a lot more lavendar then silver now. Her eyes were the same though, and her chest seemed to have multiplied by about a factor of three. 

Before she could contemplate herself further, a chariot pulled by two stallions came trotting up next to her. Bakura sighed as she recognised the tossled blond hair and lean figure of the Pharoah Yami's cheif of security, Jono. 

"Hey miss," Jono said, grinning lopsidedly at her and unconciously smoothing his wide beaded collar over his bare chest. "Seen any demons around here?" 

Before Bakura-chan could reply, Jono spied the pile of gold trinkets at her feet and gasped, his eyes narrowing. He started to step down off the chariot, and Bakura watched in a sort of facinated horror as the guardsman's feet got tangled up in the horses' reigns and he sprawled full-length in the Pool of the Pharoah's Curse. 

There was a name for the pool, Bakura remembered. Jusenkyo, or something like that. It could appear and disappear at will, and it turned anyone who stumbled into it into something different. The curse was permanate, but if Bakura had his carved walls straight then there was a way to switch back and forth at will between the two forms. Something about water... 

The tomb robber was snapped back to her senses as Jono began to shrink, and then she burst out laughing, doubling over in helpless hilarity, and finally collapsing onto her butt in the sand. The little mongrel dog that was Jono struggled out of the water and growled at her, giving Bakura his best doggy glare. 

This, of course, only made Bakura laugh harder. 

Finally Bakura climbed to her feet, wiping tears of mirth out of her face, and bent over to pick Jono up. He snapped at her, and she cursed, looking hard at him. "Now listen here mutt," she said sternly. "I know what happened to us, and I can get you back human again. And right now I'm the only one that knows you're really Jono, and not just some smarter-then-average dog." 

Jono thought about this for a moment, and then whimpered, tucking his tail between his legs. Bakura nodded, and then bent to pick him up. She deposited the little dog in the bottom of the chariot and then climbed up herself, picking up the reigns. She flicked them across the horses' backs, and they galloped off across the sand. 

Only Jono, whimpering next to her feet, caught the words she was muttering under her breath. 

"Good Geb, going to see the pharaoh of my own free will... What is the world coming to..." 

~*~ 

Pharaoh Yami looked up from his great golden throne as the door to his throne room opened to admit his good friend and close advisor, Seto. The high preist bowed low, and Yami extended the rod and flail of Kemet to him as a sign of peace. "What brings you here Seto? Usually you do not come with the weekly reports until tomorrow." 

"A matter of urgency, m'lord," Seto said, striding forward to stand in front of his pharaoh. "I have reports that Bakura the tomb robber has struck again." 

Yami growled and leaped to his feet. "That scum! I'll rip his head off his body and throw him to the crocodiles!" 

"Sit _down_ Yami," Seto said, rather more forcefully then was necissary. Yami gave him a long look, but did as bid. "There is more," the priest continued after a moment. "The guards stationed at the tomb gave chase, and they claim that Bakura fell into an oasis, and changed form." 

A tiny memory niggled at the back of Yami's mind, and he frowned slightly, trying to capture it. "Changed into what?" 

"They didn't say, m'pharaoh. I sent Jono out to see if there was even any truth to the reports at all. He hasn't returned, but his chariot has been seen returning. He should be here momentarily." 

Yami nodded at Seto's wise decision, but before more could be done, the great doors of the throne room were thrown open so forcefully that they banged against the walls behind, causing both men to jump and Seto to whirl around. 

Framed in the doorway was a buxom young woman dressed in rags who barely came to Seto's waist, and probably only to Yami's shoulder. She was scowling something feirce, highlighting the familiar-looking crossed scars down one cheek. She was carrying a whining yellow and tan dog tucked under one arm. 

"Who are you?" Seto demanded, moving between Yami and the girl. "How dare you bring that filth in here!" (He may have been conspiring to have Yami killed, but that didn't mean he didn't have to keep up appearances of being loyal. After all, if Yami himself started to suspect Seto of being traiterous, it was all over for him and his 'Down-With-Pharaoh-Yami' movement, of which Bakura was actually a member. But that is, of course, a much different story.) 

She frowned slightly, and a moment later the priest was on his back on the floor, blinking up at the ceiling and the woman was approaching the throne. Yami raised an eyebrow and sat up straighter. (After all, she had just tossed a man twice her size and three times her weight over her shoulder.) "And you are...?" 

"Bakura," she growled, bowing mockingly to him. 

Yami chuckled. "Most amusing, young lady." 

She scowled at him. "Amusing nothing." She pointed to the little dog, who looked up guiltily at them from where he'd been about to take a wizz on Seto's robe. "Your cheif of security managed to fall into the Pool of the Pharaoh's Curse after I was stupid enough to trip into it. Does anyone have any hot water around?" 

Yami's mouth dropped open, and he got down on the floor to stare at the dog. "Jono?" 

The dog yapped and nodded his head, causing Yami to blink. He then turned to Bakura. "Then you really are-" 

"I said that, didn't I?" she snapped, arms crossed across her chest. "Now get me the Ra-forsaken hot water!" 

The stunned Seto sat up, slowly shaking his head. "It won't work. Once cursed, you stay in the cursed form for six months, and after that you can switch with hot and cold water. But not before." 

Bakura and Jono just stared at him. "You mean I'm _stuck_ for six _months_??" Bakura squealed, grabbing the priest by the collar dispite the fact that Seto was, as noted, twice her height. 

Seto grunted. "Unhand me Tomb Robber, or I'll have you thrown in the dungeons." He suddenly looked toughtful. "Actually, while I've got you right here, I may as well throw you in the dungeons anyway..." He made a grab for Bakura, but she'd slipped out of his grasp and was running toward the door. 

Yami and Jono-Inu exchanged glances as Seto took off after the thief. "Should we go after them?" Yami asked, and Jono yapped once. "You're right. They'll be back eventually. Come on, lets go find you some food." Jono yapped again, this time more happily, and set off after his friend. 

It was about an hour later that Jono-Inu spied Bakura-chan trotting back across the sand and began to bark. Getting up from where he'd been sitting in the courtyard, Yami wandered over to him. "What is it Jono?" Jono yapped again as Bakura came closer, and began to wag his tail. 

As the tomb robber got closer, it became increasingly apparent that she was alone. Seto was no where to be seen. Or was he? Bakura held a squirming cat in one arm, and was snickering quite evilly. The cat was a blackish-brown, and had a wide, beaded collar around its neck, like the sort Seto regularly wore. The cat also had narrow blue eyes. 

Jono-Inu began to bark louder, all but bouncing up and down in his excitement at seeing his main enemy/rival being reduced to cat state. His tail was wagging so hard that his whole hind-end was vibrating wildly. Yami groaned slightly as Bakura-chan let the cat down, and the two animals began to warily circle each other. "What did you do to my priest, Bakura?" 

Bakura smirked and shrugged. "Is it my fault that his robes are so tight he can't jump over a simple log in the sand?" 

That stopped Yami momentarily, as Jono-Inu and Seto-Neko continued to circle each other. "What was a log doing in the sand?" 

Bakura shrugged. "Beats me, all I know is that the Pool was on the other side and your 'wise' high priest tripped right into it." 

Yami glared at him. "Like you were?" 

Bakura eyed him and opened her mouth to say something, then thought better of it and shut it again. "Never mind, you aren't worth it." 

"What did you say?" Yami asked, his eyes narrowing. 

"Now now pharaoh, wouldn't want any servants to see you assulting an innocent lady, would you?" Bakura asked, fluttering her eyelashes at him. 

"Ugh..." Yami grimaced, already thouroughly disgusted with this whole ordeal. "If _you're_ an innocent lady, then I don't want to be a man anymore..." Absently he reached down to pick up Jono-Inu to keep him from tearing Seto-Neko to pieces. 

Bakura's face took on a peculiar look of shrewd delight. "I suppose that could be arranged..." 

"Don't you dare." Yami said warningly, while the animals barked and hissed their agreement. 

Bakura-chan frowned, glancing back and forth between Yami's stern face, Jono-inu, who was all but foaming at the mouth, and Seto-neko, who had his ears pinned back in agression. "Well I can clearly see where I'm not wanted..." Folding her arms behind her head she turned and made to stroll off. 

"Wait!" Yami called after her in resignation. "It wouldn't do for the general fellahin to find out the curse is real. I order you to stay in the palace until the six-month staying period has worn off." 

Bakura-chan turned and grinned widely at him, proudly desplaying her pointed teeth. "When have I ever listened to anything you ordered, pharaoh?" 

Yami ground his teeth in frustration. "Why don't I just rip her head off and be done with it?" he muttered, half to himself and half to Jono, who was still in his arms. He sighed and spoke louder. "Thief, what do you think will happen when those pitifuls you call 'friends' find out you're suddenly a woman? Care to take on the title 'Thief Queen', mayhaps?" 

Bakura's face turned almost purple in anger, making the scars on her cheek stand out brilliantly. "Why you little.... Fine! I'll stay here, if that's what you so desire, Mighty One." she bowed sarcasticly, but came up smirking. "Besides, it'll give me a chance to check out the security on that treasure vault of yours." Picking up Seto-neko under one arm she walked off toward the palace, laughing insanely. Yami paled, before running off after the young woman, Jono-inu yapping at his heels. 

~*~

That night, rather than eating alone, as was the pharaonic tradition, Yami called a conclave of his circle of priests (well, the ones that were still human) as well as his advisor. Yami sat at the head of the table, too worried to eat even as the servants sat plates of his favorite meal before him. Under his chair Jono and Seto, for the moment unknown to the rest of the room save Yami and Bakura-chan, squabbled over the small dish of leftovers Yami had set there for them. To Yami's immediate left Bakura-chan, seemingly ignoring all the strange stares she was getting, fell on her food and began to gobble it down as if it were all high cuisine (which it was). Yami ignored her in return, trying his best to keep the twitch his eyes were developing from showing. 

To Yami's right sat his most trusted priest besides Seto, Mahaado. At the other end of the table, directly across from Yami, sat Simon, his advisor and mentor, as well as old tutor. Spaced out around the remaining space were Yami's four remaining priests. Mahaado and Karimu were talking quietly to each other, darting nervous and worried looks toward their pharaoh. Aishizu and Akunadin both sat calmly, casually glancing around in indifference (although it may be noted that Akunadin was chanting some sort of mantra under his breath. It also may be noted that if it had been loud enough, it _might_ have sounded suspiciously like "I'm a happy little buffalo, I'm a happy little buffalo..."). Shadii was frowning slightly and fingering the Ankh almost reflexively. 

Suddenly Yami's breath caught in his throat and his eyes flew toward Bakura-chan. After a moment he reached under his chair and grabbed Seto-neko by the collar, electing a soft hiss out of the priest-turned-feline as Yami hauled him up and into his lap. Trying to look like he was just inconspicuously petting a cat, Yami bent over so he could whisper sharply, "Seto, you little mongrel of a high priest! Where's the Rod?!" 

The cat hissed sharply and flicked his tail toward Bakura-chan. Yami's frown deepened as he let Seto off his lap and stood up to address his inner circle. "It has recently come to my attention that the Assyrians to the north are becoming restless. They resent Egyptian rule and are starting to stir up dissention among our northern colonies. I have sent Seto and Jono, along with a detachment of the army, to see what can be done about this. I hope to restore order without having to resort to war." 

He was lying through his teeth, and Bakura knew it. She choked on a piece of chicken in her attempt to hold back laughter, and Yami had to reach over and pound her on the back. "Get your hands off me," she hissed as soon as she was able. Yami quickly did so, afraid she would bite him or something. Looking up, he noticed his priests and Simon staring at him. 

"Er..." Yami searched around franticly, trying to come up with a way to explain Bakura-chan. "This is..." 

"Bathsheba," Bakura supplied quickly, fluttering her eyelashes girlishly at the court. "Pharaoh found me in the desert being attacked by a vile gang of robbers, and was kind enough to save me and bring me back here." She forced herself to giggle, trying not to retch at the thought of her own words. 

Aishizu frowned, stroking the Tauk around her neck. "Well," she said, raising her chin a little to look down her nose at Bakura-chan. "Bakura must be getting desperate if he'll send his thieves after little ragamuffins like you. You hardly look worth a penny. And those clothes, what did you do, steal them from some poor mummy?" 

Bakura-chan's face turned red and she tried to get out of her seat, but Yami grabbed her arm to hold her down. "How dare you insult me! I'll have you know that Bakura would have plenty of reasons to try and rob me! I happen to be the daughter of a powerful lord far to the south. Father sent me north to be married off." This wasn't in the least true, of course, but there wasn't any way in hell Bakura was going to let some girly priestess insult her. "Bakura's band killed my entire retinue. I was the only one left alive. They were dragging me back to Bakura himself when Pharaoh stepped in to save me." 

Yami rolled his eyes. Bakura was being just a _tad_ melodramatic. 

"Ah, praise Horus!" Simon said, lifting his eyes toward the ceiling of the dining hall. "It's about time Yami found himself a queen, not just those peasent concubines he keeps lying around in the harem. I'll have the papers drawn up at once." 

Yami and Bakura froze, and turned slowly to stare at the elderly advisor. "What papers?" Bakura asked, her voice dangerously low, at the same time Yami blurted indignantly "Peasent concubines?!" The two exchanged horrified glances and then exclaimed as one "_Queen?!?_" 

"I can't marry him!" Bakura shrieked. "Dammit, I'm a guy-OWW!" She kicked Seto-neko off from where he'd bitten her ankle. "Flea-bitten rat-catcher of a priest! I ought to skewer you on your own Rod!!" She made to reach behind her, when Seto bit her again, harder this time. She howled and began chasing the priest-turned-cat around the dining hall, spouting curses no lady should know. 

Thankfully, this was the lesser of the two commotions going on, so no one really paid attention to what "Bathsheba" was saying. The thought of marrying Bakura was so revolting that Yami had reverted to his natural state of being. Whiny. "But Simon!" Yami pleaded, sounding more like an eight-year-old spoiled prince than a nineteen-year-old pharaoh. "I can't marry _her!_ She's... she's..." he flailed, trying to come up with some secure reason not to have to marry Bakura-chan. 'She's a guy' would make him sound like a lunatic, and 'But she's Bakura' wasn't much better. "Just look at her! Lavendar hair with a tan that deep? It's like she's been in the sun since she was born. And that horrid scar! It reminds me of Bakura! She's the ugliest thing on two legs and dressed in less than what Mana usually wears!" 

Mahaado snorted at the implied insult to his protogée, but Yami wasn't paying attention anymore. He stiffened as the slight prick in the middle of his back alerted him to the fact that somehow, some way Bakura-chan had managed to hide a knife in what little outfit she had on, and was now standing right behind him. No one else could see the knife, but Yami sure as hell could feel it. He gulped, very softly. He _could_ call the guards on her, or have his priests magick her, but he'd probably lose his kidneys in the process. 

"It's not nice to insult a lady." Bakura-chan said softly in his ear, her eyes glinting in malice. "I swear Pharaoh, I am _not_ marrying you if it means telling all these _akh-Seth_ priests your little curse secret. I am _not_ going to be forced to marry another guy!" 

"I feel exactly the same, tomb robber." Yami said quietly so that it just seemed to the other priests like they were whispering to each other. None of them could hear the exact words exchanged. "But if we want to avoid this we'll have to work together and that means _not_ having Pharaoh-Kidney Pie for supper tonight. Kindly remove the knife from my back before I throw you to the crocodiles." 

"As you wish, Your Majesty." Bakura said sarcasticly. But nevertheless, the knife disappeared back into somewhere in her clothing and she stepped away from Yami, allowing him to relax a little. Glancing around at the gaping priests, Yami straightened his crown self-conciously just as Jono-inu and Seto-neko, who'd been missing for the past couple of minutes, tore into the room at high speed. Seto jumped easily into the startled Aishizu's arms and began to purr loudly as Jono hopped around the priestess's feet, yapping at the top of his tiny little lungs. 

Silence reigned in the hall for a few minues, save for the captain and the high priest, before Bakura-chan clapped her hands with false-enthusiasim and said cheerfully, "So, where do I get to sleep?" 

()()()()() 

WSJ: ^^ *has calmed down a little from her sugar-high* Well there. Thus ends the first chapter. Don't worry, things will get a lot better. ^~ After all, six months is a long time for a man to be a woman... 

**Ages:**   
As mentioned, Yami's 19. Bakura-chan is about 20, Mahaado is 25, Mana's 23, Aishizu's 24, Karimu's 24, Jono's 18, and Seto's 21. ^~ Those are the main characters in this here drama. The others will definately show up, but not as much. 

**Couples:**   
*makes a face* Yes, this first chapter reeks strongly of Yami/Bakura, but I don't do yaoi. And believe me, I have great plans for Yami that would make Yami/Bakura impossible... *evil grin* However, there will be Yami/Anzu/Bakura, as well as Seto/Aishizu/Karimu and Mahaado/Mana, as well as possible Otogi/Shizuka waaaaaay in the future. There will be a lot of yaoi jokes though. 

**Authentisity:**   
I've tried to make this as authentic as possible as far as solid facts go, but obviously there is a good deal of surrealisism mixxed in. ^~ Mahaado and Karimu, especially, may seem a bit happy-go-lucky. :p Oh yes, and Diabound will be around later on. You'll see... 

^^ I think that's it on first chapter notes. Oh wait, one more! This is for SerenaArythusa's ancient Egypt contest. ^^ Enter! She needs more entries!!! Don't let me win by default, okay? 

Big thanks, hugs, and a Jono-inu-plushie to Brood Mayran-neesan for her betaing skills. ^^ 

God bless minna-san! 


	2. For the Birds

WSJ: ^^ Yay, I'm finally getting around to chapter two! It's about time, eh? :p 

Jin: *pouts* Och, why've I gotta be here, lassie? 

WSJ: *squeals and glomps the wind demon* Because you're so CUTE!!!! 

Jin: *sweatdrops and tries to pry her off* 

WSJ: ^_^ Reviews everyone! 

Disclaimer: WSJ doesn't own YGO in any way, shape, or form. She's simply having a bit of fun torturing them. She doesn't own Jin either, although she wishes she did. 

**A note on Malik:** Some YGO fans tend to believe that Malik doesn't have a past life in Egypt. Obviously his "yami" isn't a yami in the sense that the pharaoh and the thief are yamis. But after all, Jou and Anzu have past lives, but no yamis. So for this story, at least, I'm assuming that Malik does too, along with Otogi and Shizuka and quite a few other characters never mentioned in either the Egypt manga arc or the video games. ^_~ Just go with it. 

()()()()() 

The Pharaoh's Curse 

Chapter 2 -- For the Birds 

_Quote of the Chapter:_

"No way, that's too obvious, even for a cartoon!"   
~(Polly Ester - Samurai Pizza Cats) 

"My life sucks..." 

Bakura groaned and buried her head under a pillow, trying to block out the giggling of the maids and servant girls that seemed to come through every twenty seconds or so, no matter what time of night it was. She'd been given a hastily cleared appartment in the royal harem, and a maid had been appointed for her personal use. The maid, Shahara, seemed almost desperate to please. She had long ginger colored hair and pretty blue eyes, and looked about seventeen. Jono-Inu, who'd followed Bakura to her appartments, nearly flipped out when he saw her. 

"Stupid mutt...." Bakura muttered, kicking Jono off the foot of her bed for the third time that night. "What is _with_ you?" 

Shahara, who as Bakura's personal maid was sleeping on a woven mat on the floor at the end of Bakura's bed, squeaked in surprise as the dog landed on her. Sitting up, she peeked over the edge of the bed at her new lady. "M-mistress? Maybe the puppy is just restless, being in a new home?" 

Bakura snorted and rolled over again. "Damnit, I can't get comfortable... I've been sleeping on nice soft sand too long." 

Shahara gasped at Bakura's use of language. "M-maybe my lady would l-like to go for a walk to calm h-her nerves?" she whispered, obviously frightened of Bakura but willing to help all the same. 

Bakura blinked and sat up. By Ra, that was actually a good idea! All that gold was just sitting out there by the oasis (that is, if one of Bakura's own band hadn't swooped down to grab it yet). She could take a bag and sneak out there now, in the middle of the night... "Thank you Shahara, that sounds good." 

"R-really?" Shahara smiled timidly. 

"Yes," Bakura said, already out of bed and starting to pull on one of the plainer tunics she'd been provided. Since she'd come to the palace with no possessions of her own, several of the lesser princesses and concubines had been bullied into giving up a few of their dresses and wigs until "Bathsheba" could have her own made for her. "But you need not accompany me." 

Shahara scrambled to help her mistress with her clothes. "Are you sure, Lady Sheba?" 

Bakura waved her hand impatiently. "Yes, yes. I'll be back very shortly." 

Shahara bobbed in a curtsy as Bakura pulled on her sandals. "I'll wait here then, mistress, and start composing a letter to my brother." 

This made Bakura pause. A slave that could read and write? Shahara must have seen the look on her face, for the younger girl blushed. "My big brother is Pharaoh's best friend. We're orphans, and Pharaoh graciously allows us to live here at the palace. My brother and I were educated like nobles. He is a very kind man, our Pharaoh." 

Bakura sneered and bit back a rude comment, glancing with growing unease at the little mongrel dog in Shahara's arms. Jono must have caught her look, because he whined and snuggled into the maid's arms. "And your brother wouldn't happen to be one of the men Pharaoh sent north today, would he?" Bakura asked, deciding he may as well play along with Yami's little cover story, as stupid as it was. 

Shahara nodded. "Oh yes! My brother Jono is leading the expedition!" she said proudly, but then she frowned worridly. "It's so strange though, he didn't even say good-bye to me..." She looked sad, and Jono whined. 

Bakura rolled her eyes and patted the maid awkwardly on the shoulder, grabbing a cloth bag from the bottom of one of the clothes chests. "Well, I'm sure he just had a lot on his mind. I'll be back soon, I won't stray past the palace walls." Well that was an obvious lie, but Shahara nodded, and Bakura quickly slipped out of the room before Shahara decided she needed more heart-to-heart. Good gods, she just had to have Jono's little sister as a maid! 

Creeping along the halls, Bakura's eye started to twitch as she heard the unmistakeable sounds of two humans doing what humans are meant to do farther along the hall. There were guards posted outside the door, so Bakura deduced (correctly) that Pharaoh was visiting the harem. The lucky lady's maid was sitting outside her mistress's door, mere servents not being permitted inside when the Divine and his lady were having thier fun. Since the guards didn't seem to bother anyone unless they tried to enter the room, Bakura sauntered up to the maid. "Excuse me slave, who is your lady, whom Pharaoh blesses?" 

The maid looked up at her, apparently not knowing who this lavendar haired woman was. "The Lady Anzusah, mistress. She is Favorite of Pharaoh." 

Bakura's eye twitched again. Yami had a Favorite and yet Simon was still looking to marry him to Bakura? Something smelled fishy here. "Why is she not Great Royal Wife, then?" 

The maid's eyes widened, as if she couldn't believe Bakura didn't know. "She is a foreign princess, from far to the east. The priests would never allow her to sit on the Throne of Egypt." 

Bakura sighed and twitched again before taking her leave. Great, no way out there... 

She shook her head and pushed the matter of marrage out of her mind as she concentrated on sneaking out of the palace unnoticed. An easy task for the King of Thieves, especially now that 'his' body was about 30% lighter and smaller. Still, it never hurt to be cautious. With Diabound on vacation she wouldn't be making any quick escapes through solid walls. Blast that wretched kaa beast! Why he chose _now_ to insist that he deserved a vacation to Hawaii was anyone's guess... No doubt he'd heard about all the deeply tanned young ladies dressed in coconut bikinis. Not that women in Egypt were any less tan or any more modest, mind you. But what intrest would a man-snake twenty feet tall have in scantily clad hula girls? 

Bakura shuddered and decided that she didn't want to pursue that thought any further, especially now that she _was_ one of those scantily clad tan girls. 

Within a few minutes she was out of the palace complex. Ten minutes more and she'd escaped the city and was well on her way toward the oasis. She figured that the water would no longer be there, as it tended to disappear on a whim, but she was hoping that the gold she'd left earlier would be. It had still been there when she'd chased Seto back to the spring, anyway. 

Sure enough, under the light of the full moon she could see the gold glinting as she approached. But there was also something else. Some_one_ else. 

Instantly she dropped into a crouch, slinking across the sand in silence, with a grace that cats everywhere would envy. As she approached, she resisted the urge to groan. She knew who it was kneeling next to her gold, digging through it with his grubby hands and exclaiming over it in muffled shouts. He was being sloppy, too. Bakura got within ten feet of him before he froze, realizing she was there. Of course, by then it was far too late. 

She lept, grabbing the man by the collar and tackling him into the sand, so that she was sitting on his chest and pinning him down. Even in her decreased stature, this was an easy task. He'd never been a tall man by anyone's measure, and was skinny as all hell. He thrashed underneath her, then finally quieted, panting as he stared up in obvious fear at the tiny woman sitting on him. "Oh please, gods! I ain't never done anything to you! Don't hurt me!" 

"Malik you blistering fool!" Bakura whispered harshly, slapping one hand over her second-in-command's mouth. "Someone will hear you! Now just shut up! What do you think you're doing, digging your filthy hands through my gold?" 

Malik's lavendar eyes were wide in surprise and confusion. The manner of speech was right, and so was the scowl and the scars, and the reddish eyes. But everything else failed to compute. There was the breasts, for one thing. Or rather, two. 

Bakura saw the way he was looking at her hungrily and her scowl deepened. She slapped him sharply, still sitting on his chest. "Stop that! It's _me_ you thousand-year-old camel turd [1], stop looking at me like I'm beef!" 

Malik blinked, his eyes widening further. "B-bakura?! What happend?!!?" 

"I had an accident." Bakura grunted, climbing off of her friend, such as he was, and offering him a hand up. "Look, things should be all right, but I'm stuck for six months! I can't go back looking like this, my whole band will be on top of me in two seconds. I need you to hold things down for me until all this wears off." 

"And where will you be?" Malik asked, peering at her suspiciously in the moonlight. 

"None of your business!" Bakura hissed. "Just make sure none of the others get into too much trouble without me, you hear?" 

"You mean, be King of Thieves for you?" Malik asked, puffing out his chest in pride. 

"_No_." Bakura groaned, massaging her temples. Why had she never noticed how irritating he was before? "That's _my_ job. Just be the leader for awhile." 

Malik deflated slightly, disappointed. "Aww, all right. I just figured, you know, since you're a skank [2] now and all-" The blond suddenly found himself lifted off his feet as Bakura grabbed him by the collar again. Her strength really was incredible, he noted distantly, for someone that size. 

"Listen here, you sun-baked bleach head, I may be temporarily female, but I'm. No. SKANK!!!" She threw him backward, and it wasn't until she heard the splash that she groaned aloud in realization. 

She really was an idiot. 

~*~

Just as Bakura'd hoped, Shahara was sound asleep with Jono-Inu curled up beside her when she came back in with a bag of loot over one shouler. As quietly as she could Bakura stashed the jingling bag in a trunk next to her bed and tossed several dresses in on top. Hopefully as a soon-to-be royal lady she had diplomatic immunity from having her chests searched. 

"RAWK! Gold in chest, gold in chest!" 

Bakura spun around and grabbed the brightly colored parrot straight out of the air, pulling him down so that she was nose to beak with him. "Shut _up_ Malik, or I'll pull out your Ra-forsaken tail feathers one by one!" 

The parrot looked miffed, insomuch as a parrot _can_ look miffed, but he did fall silent. As soon as Bakura let go of him, he fluttered over to perch on the wooden headrest that Egyptians used in place of pillows and busily began preening himself. Bakura rolled her eyes and went back to 'packing her trunk'. As a parrot, Malik's predominant color was a sort of sandy gold, the same color his hair was as a human, though he had feathers of lavandar and light blue arranged in bands across his wings. 

Once Bakura was sure that no one would be finding her gold any time soon, she picked up the smaller thing she'd dropped by the door as she came in and made her way down the halls, leaving Malik behind in her chambers. Aha! She was in luck. Pharaoh never stayed with his women the entire night, it was considered unhealthy and unethical [3]. It seemed Yami had just finished with Princess Anzusah. The guards were ahead of him as they walked away, and all three had their backs to Bakura. Slowly, with a stealth accumulated from years and years of thievery, Bakura crept up behind Yami and slid a hand around the Pharaoh's mouth, dragging the startled monarch toward an abandonned room that Bakura had found earlier. The Pharaoh kicked and fought, but he was no match for Bakura. 

Once they were in the room, Bakura let Yami go, grinning evilly. "You can scream if you like," she said, observing Yami taking a deep breath. "But don't you think I could kill you easily before anyone ever got here?" 

Yami's eyes widened in fear. "Y-You're-" 

"Oh don't worry, I have no intention of killing you." Bakura spat. "Although it's against my better judgement. No, I'm going to place a curse on you, Pharaoh. Why should I be the one to suffer? Why shouldn't you, when your high priest and you captain are eating the dust off the ground? Shouldn't you be with them, _Pharaoh_?" She grinned in sheer delight as she watched Yami try to back away, only to find he had no where to go. Slowly the thief girl pulled out from behind her the waterskin that Malik had been carrying. The one that was now full with not-so-innocent water. She uncorked it, watching the horror grow on the ruler's face. "Catch, oh Mighty One." 

She tossed the water skin, and Yami could only fumble with it futily as it splashed all over him. He let out one last human shriek as the cursed water began to trasform him. His neck and nose lengthened, and he sprouted feathers and wings. Bakura wasn't exactly sure _what_ the Pharaoh had just been turned into, except that it was most definately a bird. 

The overall effect was very.... pink. 

Slowly, Bakura began to shake in laughter as Yami gave him his best birdie glare. The Crown of Egypt, which had fallen from Yami's head as the transformation began, was laying on the floor. Bakura stooped down to pick it up and, still laughing, placed it on her head. 

~*~

[1] - *giggles* Coming up with creative insults is fun. :D 

[2] skank - my knowledge of street Egyptian is severely limited, so I'm forced to fall back on modern words that _sound_ sorta Egyptiony. -_-; 

[3] - That's true. Pharaoh would only stay in a lady's chambers long enough to do his business. Afterward he would return to his own rooms for the rest of the night. 

()()()()() 

WSJ: Mwahahaha! And so the reign of Queen Bakura begins! XD Don't worry, I'm not turning this into some dark angst story. It's staying exclusively humor. Mostly. 

Jin: 0o; Och, am I glad that this tain't a Yu Yu Hakusho story! Who knows what I'd be turned inta! 

WSJ: *slow grin* We could try and find out... 

Jin: Meep! *runs off back toward "Like a Thief" were he belongs, as WSJ giggles* 

Reviews please! 

God bless minna-san! 


	3. Queen of Egypt

WSJ: :D [has dragged Jin back and is now sitting on him while Kurama stands nearby and sweatdrops] Happy anniversary to MEEEE! It has been exactly three years since I first started writing for FF.N. =D Fear me, mortals!

Kurama: . Has the torture really lasted that long...?

Jin: [pouting. Or unconscious. One never knows.]

WSJ: [waves] Hi all! I'm so glad you liked the last chapter! Here we go with chapter three, then! Oh yes, as for timeline, this is obviously an AU Egypt. ;) Mahaado still carries the Ring at this point, Bakura hasn't gotten a hold of it yet.

Kurama: [sweatdrops] WSJ doesn't own YGO. Or us either, although I don't think she cares... Reviews please!

WSJ: ;) Most of this was written while I was high on Pixi Stix and listening to _Into the West_, from the Return of the King soundtrack, over and over. Oh yeah, and the couples have changed slightly. [points downward]

**Couples:** Mahaado/Mana, Seto/Aishizu/Karimu, Yami/Anzusah/Bakura, probably Bakura/Kisara or Seto/Kisara/Bakura later.

**Names:**   
_Lady Bathsheba/Sheba/Bakura-chan_ - Bakura in female form   
_Bakura-kun/[insert random insult here]_ - Bakura in male form   
_Seto-neko_ - Seto in cat form   
_Jono-inu _- Jono in puppy form   
_Yami-tori _- Yami in flamingo form   
_Malik-omu_ - Malik in parrot form

()()()()()

The Pharaoh's Curse

Chapter 3 - Queen of Egypt

_Quote of the chapter: _

_"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us."   
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)_

By the next morning, when it became obvious that the pharaoh had vanished into thin air, the palace fell into utter chaos. Courtiers and servants ran around like headless poultry. Ladies maids giggled and fluttered and were all around useless. Simon was busy trying to comfort and calm a hysterical Anzusah, while Akunadin, the High Priest in Seto's absence, was taken to bed with a nervous breakdown. The High Priestship thereby defaulted to Mahaado, who had his hands full trying to keep everything from exploding in his face. Karimu, Shadii, and Mahaado's apprentice, Mana, did all they could to help. High Priestess Aishizu had not been seen all morning, but the word whispered between servants was that she was in the inner sanctuary of the Temple of Horus, praying on the missing Pharaoh's behalf, because she'd had a terrible vision in her Sennen Tauk.[1] Shahara, with Jono-inu in her shadow, stood in the harem courtyard and talked in earnest whispers with the other maids, casting anxious glances back over her shoulder toward the door into Bakura's rooms. Yami the flamingo, having been relieved of both his crown and his Puzzle, stood in the spacious sitting room outside of Bakura's bedroom and sulked. Malik the parrot perched on his Pharaoh's back and preened.

And Bakura slept in.

Her quarters were just like those of all the other harem ladies save the Queen and Pharaoh's Favorite (which sometimes weren't the same person), who had larger apartments that were set apart slightly. Bakura's rooms consisted of a bedchamber, a receiving room that was furnished with comfortable couches, and a small bathing room. There was a door in the outer receiving room that led to the common courtyard shared by all the ladies, which was where Shahara and Jono were now. There was also a large, open-air reflecting and bathing pool shared by all the women (except, again, for the Queen and Favorite, who had their own) because the private ones were really rather small.

It was mid-morning before Bakura was awakened, in the form of Aishizu bursting into her bedchambers with Seto-neko behind her, followed by Mana and an uneasy looking Mahaado. Aishizu went to the window and called for Shahara, while Mahaado stood near the door, flicking a wary eye around the room. Mana ran forward to take Bakura by the shoulder, shaking her gently. "Lady Sheba! Lady Sheba, wake up!"

Bakura sat bolt upright almost instantly, very used to having to wake up quickly. Seeing Mana blinking at her, Bakura relaxed slightly. She'd seen Mahaado's apprentice from afar several times, but had never actually met her. "What's the matter?" she asked grouchily. She was _not_ a morning person.

"Pharaoh has vanished!" Mana exclaimed. "He's no where to be found!"

Shahara entered the room with Jono at her heels. Yami-tori and Malik-omu followed them in, curious. Bakura thought fast, ignoring the glare coming from a certain tall bird. Thankfully, the three priests were distracted by the entrance of the various animals. Jono-inu and Seto-neko hopped up onto Bakura's bed, settling down on either side of her. Malik-omu flew over to perch on her head, squawking and whistling to himself. Yami-tori moved to the corner, still obvious sulking.

"Are these animals all yours, Lady Sheba?" Aishizu asked, blinking in surprise. "I hadn't seen any of them before you came here yesterday. The cat's been following me around, I hope you don't mind..."

Bakura shook her head, trying not to scowl. "They're not 'mine', exactly... Though they do_ depend_ on me for survival..." Several animals gulped. "And no, I don't care if Seth" she quickly altered the priest cat's name so it wouldn't be exactly the same "Follows you. They all pretty much do what they want. You said Pharaoh is missing?"

Mana nodded. "Oh yes! He visited Lady Anzusah last night, but no one has seen him since!"

Bakura tried to smile. "It's nothing to be worried over. He slipped away from his guards and came to see me, alone," she said, lying as she went. "He said he felt bad that his High Priest and captain were facing danger alone, so he decided to go after them and travel with them to drive back the Assyrians. He left the double crown of Egypt behind, and left his Puzzle in my care. Priest Seto had left his Rod with Pharaoh, and Yami left that with me as well."

Reaching under the bed, Bakura pulled out the Pharaoh's double crown. Mahaado hurried forward and took it from her, nodding his head in thanks. She bent to reach under the bed again, and this time she pulled out not only Yami's Puzzle, but also Seto's Rod. The priests gasped, and beside Bakura on the bed Seto-neko growled.

Aishizu, Mana, and Mahaado exchanged unreadable glances. Finally, after a long moment, Mahaado nodded. Mana turned and hurried out of the room without further word.

"Right then," Aishizu said. "If the Mighty Pharaoh entrusted the Puzzle and Rod to you, then they are yours to keep until their masters return. Just the fact that they do not burn you when you touch them means that you hold at least a little Shadow Magic of your own. But on to minor matters," the priestess clapped her hands sharply, and Shahara stepped forward to bow to her. "Akunadin and Simon will have to be consulted, but we shall go ahead and fit you for robes and wigs befitting your new station, Lady Sheba."

"New station?" Bakura asked, eagerly slipping the Puzzle's chain around her neck and trying not to giggle as she felt the weight of it settle against her. Mahaado had already left, still carrying the double crown. Seto-neko, after throwing Bakura one last glare, and Malik-omu followed him.

Aishizu nodded. "Yes. If you're to be queen, a new wardrobe is in order."

Shahara's eyes widened slightly and she hurried out of the room. Bakura choked, nearly giving in to her feminine body and allowing it to faint. It was only sheer willpower and her pride as a man that kept her from keeling over where she still sat on the bed. "Q-queen?!"

Yami the flamingo squawked in outrage, flapping his stubby pink wings and hopping up and down on long, skinny legs. The sight of it nearly sent Bakura into hysterics.

_'You can't make the tomb robber queen!!! She's not even a real man! I'M the ruler of this country, Aishizu! Meeee!'_

Bakura blinked hard, afraid she was imagining things as her laughter died into giggles. Aishizu was looking at her like she'd grown two heads. Bakura stared hard at Yami, but figured that talking to a bird in the high priestess's presence didn't rank very high on the sanity scale. She'd have to figure out what she'd heard later.

"Yes," Aishizu said. "Queen. Since Pharaoh left his crown and his Puzzle behind in your care, it is obvious he believes you to be a competent ruler. Since you are to be betrothed anyway, this shall be considered a time of training for you."

Yami squawked at her, and Bakura was about to protest to the 'betrothed' statement as well, but was given no time. Shahara returned, trailed after by three other maids and a tall man with green eyes. He was lean and tan, bare to the waist save a few woven armbands and a thin strip of red linen that held his hair out of his eyes. Unlike most men and women of Egypt, who shaved their heads and wore wigs, this man seemed to have his natural hair, which was long and thick and jet black. He wore leather sandals, which presented something of a paradox. Woven armbands seemed to say that he was only a poor slave, but the fine quality of his kilt and the fact that he wore sandals suggested he was much more. Only the nobles and the army wore sandals, commoners who were too poor and priests who were too holy went barefoot. This man didn't look like any soldier Bakura had ever seen. When he turned his head slightly to look at her, she saw the golden Aten disk dangling from his left ear, and gasped.

Aten was the god of the Heretic pharaoh Ankhenaten, who had ruled twenty years ago, before Pharaoh Yami's father, Akunamukanon, had taken the throne. After Ankhenaten's death, worship of the Aten had been banned, and all monuments and temples to it destroyed. Now, it was even forbidden to speak the Heretic's name aloud. Bakura cared nothing for the ways of the gods, but even _she_ knew that. And yet, this man could not have been alive when the Heretic reigned, he looked no more than twenty years old himself. Just who was he that he dared, and was allowed, to wear the Aten disk in full sight of the high priestess of Isis?

Aishizu must have caught the look on Bakura's face, because the priestess hastened to explain. "This is Djel, overseer and protector of pharaoh's harem."

"But he wears the Aten!" Bakura blurted out. What she'd been about to say was 'But he's a man!', but decided that was just a tad too abrupt. Men almost always oversaw the harems, but from the way Djel's kilt fell, Bakura could see he was no sterile eunuch. To her surprise, she found herself blushing at the thought, and silently cursed female hormones.

To her surprise, Djel broke out laughing and strode over to the bed, leaning down to take her hand in his, tilting his head so that his bangs fell in his eyes and the heavy gold earring caught the light. "My dear, this is not an Aten disk, it simply looks so from afar. See, it is carved with Khnum, the Ram."

Bakura had to fight not to wrinkle her nose. Yes, she could see the ram perfectly well. Khnum was a fertility god from Upper Egypt, and the one carved on Djel's earring had particularly big horns. Why in hell's name did Yami trust him around his women?!

Djel saw Bakura's question in her eyes and grinned. "Oh, you make no mistake, m'lady, I am a whole man. I am also pharaoh's half-brother, the reason he treats me with much trust. I would never betray him, or his women." He patted her hand and winked at her. "Unless they asked me to, of course."

Bakura shuddered and pulled her hand out of his, and he respectfully backed away, recognizing that for the dismissal it was. That was the answer to the paradox, then. Djel and Yami must have shared a mother, because Djel was obviously older then the pharaoh, and had they shared a father Djel would be pharaoh and not Yami. Djel didn't seem to be bitter about it like some men would have been, though. Now that Bakura was looking, she could see the places in Djel that marked him and Yami as sharing a dam. They stood the same way, though Djel was a good deal taller, and their faces were similar too, especially around the nose and set of their jaws.

Bakura blushed again when she realized she'd been staring at him, and again mentally cursed her now female body. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice, as two more maids had arrived and Shahara and Djel were busy ordering them around. "You, go fetch the bolts of fine linen from the supply closets. I know for a fact there are at least two. And you, go fetch the cobbler and tell him to bring his best sandal leather. Someone go find the belts that the weaver women have just finished. I'll order the jewels myself, but someone go see about wigs! On the double ladies!"

Aishizu stood a bit off and watched, then nodded in apparent satisfaction. "Shahara," she called the younger girl over. "For all intents and purposes you are from this moment forward Chief Handmaiden to the Queen. You are to be with her at all times, unless she concisely orders you away, and only then if it is with good reason. You have higher rank then any servant in the harem save Djel, and are free to exercise that rank. You also have free reign of the palace, provided your lady is with you."

Shahara gasped, recognizing the literal honors that had just been handed to her, and dropped to her knees before the priestess. "Oh thank you, High Priestess! Thank you!"

Aishizu smiled and kneeled down so that her head was close to Shahara's, causing the handmaiden to gasp again at being on equal level with a priestess. "It was the will of Isis that it be so." She lowered her voice even farther in words meant for only Shahara's ears. "Priestesses and queens need friends too, Shahara. Don't be afraid to at least try."

Then she was back on her feet, giving instructions to Djel. "Clothe her properly. See if you can get her to cut her hair, too. It looks like a rat's nest."

"Hey!" Bakura yelped, half in protest to Aishizu's comment and half in indignation as three of the maids tried to forcefully undress her. "Stop it you yellow-livered camel bitches! Get your filthy hands off me!"

Shahara coloured at Bakura's use of language, and Aishizu frowned. "What a nasty mouth she has..." she murmured, half to Djel and half to herself. "That will have to be fixed."

Djel sketched a bow to her as she turned to leave. "All shall be done, my lady. Many everyday dresses and a coronation robe like none other."

Aishizu smiled at him. "If any can do it, you can Djel. Now then, I must go find Mahaado. No doubt Mana's tied him in a tangle by now. Again. I will return later to check your progress."

"As you wish, m'lady." Djel bowed again, and then turned back around to watch the fun. Jono-inu had been knocked off the bed by Bakura's thrashing, and was now over in the corner, watching with amused interest. Yami the flamingo was still in the room too, feathers puffed up in indignation and rage over the present situation. Bakura was still on her sleeping couch, thrashing and howling as three of the ladies tried to pin her down, and another one tried to pull off her night dress without damaging the fine linen. Shahara was trying to talk Bakura into calming down, but it didn't seem to work very well. Djel sighed and turned, accepting the bronze knife from the servant who offered it with a bow.

The head of the harem approached the couch holding the knife with an air of wary reluctance. He and Lady Sheba probably both would have felt better if one of the women did this, but Djel had known girls like this before. They needed a firm hand in this ritual, and women were too prone to giggle fits, especially if their reluctant patient were trying to wiggle away.

Djel nudged two of the women aside and took their place at Bakura's side, holding the bronze knife confidently. Sure enough, the all the ladies in the room except Shahara and Bakura burst into giggles at the sight of it. All of them had been through this before, and quite a few of them by Djel's hand.

Bakura went very still as soon as she saw the knife, her eyes round and locked on the blade. When Djel's other hand darted out and flipped her skirt up over her stomach, she squealed and tried to cover herself again, only to be held down. Now make no mistake, this wasn't out of any feminine modesty (of which Bakura had none), but that knife had put quite a few terrible visions into her mind. "What the hell are you trying to do to me, camel breath?!?"

Djel gave her a cool look. "Shaving." [2]

Bakura went white, and then bright red, half from rage and half from embarrassment, as Djel leaned over her. His eyebrows shot up and he glanced back at her face. "Virgin? Good gad..."

"Shut up..." Bakura sputtered, face red as a dying sun. "Just shut the hell up."

There was a loud honking noise from the corner, causing everyone to jump. Thankfully, Djel had been holding the knife away from him, and it was nowhere near Bakura or anyone else when his hand jerked. The ladies were surprised enough that they let go of Bakura, giving the tomb robber the opportunity to scramble off the bed and fling her skirt down over herself. She stood panting and red-faced next to Shahara, who could only pat her on the shoulder and try unsuccessfully to hold in laughter. Everyone in the room was staring at Yami, trying to figure out what was wrong with the flamingo. The general consensus was that it was dying of some horrible disease, but it was Bakura who figured out the awful truth first.

The pharaoh was laughing at her.

-()-

[1] Aishizu is the high priestess of Isis and Osiris. She was praying in the Temple pf Horus because Horus is the patron god of mortals, and also the special protector of the pharaohs. In fact, while they were alive pharaohs would actually be called by Horus's name. Yami would have been "Horus Atemu". After his death, he would have been known as "Osiris Atemu".

[2] Remember my comment about Egyptians shaving off all their hair? I wasn't kidding. They'd shave _all_ their hair, men and women both. Arms, legs, backs, whatever. If it wasn't eyebrows or eyelashes, it was gone. That includes their heads. Many of the nobles would wear wigs. Priests just went bald. =3 Thankfully, most of the Yugioh cast seems to have rebelled against this tradition. On their heads, at least.

()()()()()

WSJ: So we see another familiar face. ;D Beware Djel/Shahara (Duke/Serenity) in coming chapters. [snickers] Most people who write in ancient Egypt seem to like to place Duke as a guardsman, including me. But I wanted to give him a position where he'd be in more contact with Shahara and Bakura, so here he is! =3 Making him Yami's half-brother was a whim, because I needed a reason for him to be in the harem. X3 I'll probably get mobbed for this, but I have to say that for a few moments I was contemplating making Djel a eunuch. I know, I know, that would have been harsh, but if you were a man in Egypt and you worked with the ladies and you weren't pharaoh, you were castrated, simple as that. =D But I'm not nearly that mean to poor Djel. Hmm... Although maybe I should write a more serious story along that vein... [wanders off to contemplate]

Well, now we're starting to get a little bit of historical reality in otherwise nonsensical fantasy. :) Pretty much the entire narration about Ankhenaten and the Aten and what happened afterward is true to life. Twenty years after the end of his reign would put Atemu/Yami living and ruling during the reign of Horemheb, the last king of the 18th Dynasty, give or take a year or two. Historically, Ankhenaten gave up the throne to his half-brother(??) Smenkhare, who was followed by Tutankhamen, Ay, and Horemheb. Horemheb was succeeded by Ramses I, who established the 19th Dynasty and a new line of kings. For the purpose of this story, Ankhenaten was succeeded by Tutankhamen, who was succeeded by Akunamukanon and then Atemu.

I could go off onto a huge side-rant about Smenkhare, who the scholars think he was and who _I_ think he was, but as it really has no relevance and these notes are already too long. :p But for the sake of the point, I believe Smenkhare to be one and the same person as Nefertiti, Ankhenaten's queen. =3 To hear me argue about why I think I'm right, feel free to e-mail me. ;)

And I'm really, truly sorry if I bore some of you when I get into long, drawn out, textbook Egyptology rants. [sweatdrops and scratches the back of her head sheepishly] I try not too, but Egypt is just so _fascinating..._

Oh yes, for those who don't bother to read my bio, I'm going to be out of town from June 13 to June 22, 2004. I'll be in Mexico on a missions trip. :) I promise I'll get back to writing as soon as I get home.

Reviews are nice! Give me plenty so I'll have a lot to read when I get back from Mexico!

God bless minna-san!


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